You are an exciting runner in the field of, that thing where people jump around on stuff -- parkour! That thing. It was really big in Russia?? It was a thing, lots of videos of it used to go viral, it's probably more of a niche thing. Just so you know!! That's what this game is about, you're a parkour lady, doing parkour in, let's say, a big building, or the desert. In South America!! Or the desert in, let's say, Arizona. It's up to you, use your imagination!! That's what text game is all about. Thank you for playing.
[[EXTREMELY COOL AND INTERESTING RUN AND JUMP GAME, BUT IN TEXT FORM]]You are running quickly, so fast!! The wind whips by your face and body, all over you!!! WOW. Extremely cool. Plus, you're doing jumps and spins, all the time. You're so excited!! AND exciting. You (the player who is you) are on the edge of your seat with wild anticipation as to what will happen next
[[You run and run and run and run!!]]
[[JUMP(!!!)]]
You run and run and run!! You were running before, but now you are REALLY running. You can practically hear air wooshing around your swiftly moving ears, which are attached to your body, which is extremely swift right now because of all the running you are doing!! SO FAST!!!! you can hardly believe it, but that's who you are, you DO believe it. You are fast and cool girl, and you're running all around everywhere.
[[WOW! I can't believe how fast I'm going (I can believe it, and I'm calm and collected about it, but you know what I mean)]]You let out a huge and enormous jump from your body, through your legs!! Up and up you go, across and over towards the place where you are going, to get closer to that place. That's your goal!!!
You hear someone yell at you from around somewhere (I guess people are watching you?? You're so calm and collected and cool you didn't think about how cool you look and how people probably want to watch and see what you're doing and how cool it is and maybe feel jealous) and anyway, the person yells at you, "Hey!!! Quit jumping!" But you're like, no way man, You don't even repsond you don't even care. Just higher and faster, using your feet and sometimes your arms and hands when you land and you jump more jumps than you've ever jumped before is what it feels like but really you are extremely experienced in jumping and that's just what you do.
You land your last jump and you take off running really fast!!
[[WOW! I can't believe how fast I'm going (I can believe it, and I'm calm and collected about it, but you know what I mean)]]You jump from, let's say, rooftop to rooftop, and across a gorge. You are in the exotic location of Arizona, South America, the desert city. You know you can run faster here than anywhere else, because the air is so dry and clear and easy to jump through. There's hardly anything at all in this air, you blast through it faster than anyone has ever run and jumped before but not you,,
[[ALISON PARKOUR (nickname)]]With a WHOOOOSH you take off running, this time slightly faster than before, always building up speed. As you cartwheel off of walls and dive through the air, through open windows, into people's living rooms, bouncing off their couches, and catapulting yourself through their conveniently open bathroom windows, while they sit open-mouthed on their couch like a bunch of dummies, you occasionally look down at the desert city below you (you are very high up in apartment buildings and office buildings and so on, and probably some under construction buildings where there are interesting things to run on and jump over)
You look down at the desert city and you see all the people and how they must love you and be jealous at the same time, the sinews of your enormous legs and arms always slicing through the air and landing perfectly and safely. But your limbs aren't too enormous!! Or not enormous enough. Whatever you think attractive is, that's you, and everyone agrees. Not like crazy attractive or anything, you can still get around without people asking you out all the time (unless that's what you want) or trying to give you contracts to become a fashion model or whatever happens to very attractive people, I wouldn't know honey!! Anyways, you have confidence. Maybe you're totally average looking!! Whatever you like, whatever feels good, you know? That's you
You're looking down at the desert below you, and you know it is full of spiky plants and cactuses and rattlers and all the dangers that the desert entails, in addition to a city full of people who love you (and are jealous of you) already the setting is coming together nicely and there should be room for both excitement and conflict (if necessary)
You absolutely cannot wait to get to the place where you're supposed to be going, which is integral to the story, and your character. Your character first, since this is a modern story. Who cares about the story!! What matters is Alison Parkour, the hero (you)
[[THAT'S ME!!]]Shit!! There's a bar about head height you didn't see before while you were running so fast that the world was becoming a blurred smudge of already-passed-sights while your powerful and beautiful (if those are qualities you like or want to imagine yourself having) body was blasting through the space of reality, of the super cool and futuristic city of Arizona, South America (AZSA, for short, is how the extremely hip inhabitants of AZSA refer to it, pronounced "azza")
Anyways, the fucking metal bar that's right in front of your face AND you're running REALLY fast. Fuck!!! It's a real emergency right now and you'd better do something fast.
Thankfully, because of how used to running really fast you are and the speed of your brain and your experience and intelligence, it's almost as if you have plenty of time to react, even though it is still a DIRE situation and your heart is racing a million miles an hour AND you're in REAL DANGER and you have NO IDEA WHAT COULD HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT!!!!
Anyway
[[Duck under the bar]]
[[Jump over the bar(in a cool way, with acrobatics]]
Also let's say if you choose to duck under the bar you ALSO do that in a cool way, so it's not like you have a cool choice and an uncool choice, both of these choices are SUPER cool and you are wild with adrenaline and possibility and danger and totally calm and collected and know what you're doing but ANYTHING could happenYou duck under the bar with a WOOSH, just barely missing your head on it, like a professional. You can feel your hair of whatever length and style and color you like, just barely graze the hard and dangerous metal.
But you are still calm, cool and collected. You know what to do, story-wise and where you're going, though you the player won't be clear on that for a little while longer, believe me, it will be worth the wait.
Someone must have seen you avoid the bar with your simple ducking maneuver (also you do a little spin, and maybe swing around the bar and land on it and jump off the bar and do a spinny flip through some dangerous metal spikes that are sticking out of concrete or something because you're in a, let's say, office building that is under construction) anyway there's like applause and somebody gasps -- maybe they gasp first, and then a big round of applause comes up from the desert streets below...
But you have hardly time to even think about how amazing you are because you have to continue moving...
[[TOWARDS THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE GOING]]You quickly, jump over the bar, fast as lightning, as terrifying as thunder, and as smooth as a gentle rain. You have somewhere to be and you know where you are going and your body and your surroundings obey your gentle acquiescence -- perhaps you are the one who is bending to the will of your surroundings?? As you run you can barely hear applause echo up from the desert city below...
But what's this?? Perhaps you became too self-assured for now it seems like you've lost some of your footing. Your shoes, which are both tasteful designed and perfect for the task at hand have slipped slightly and you slide off the narrow wall you were careening across, like some kind of wild, running angel (or demon??)
Though your feet steady yourself against the opposite wall and slide gently down to the next gap in the building, down which you take off in a sprint, totally unaffected, completely calm and in control... perhaps you did not lose your footing at all?? Perhaps you had planned every move... If anyone was watching, there is no way for them to know, plus now you are running so fast that you are completely gone, and they are probably even more confused than they were before, though they probably also feel a calm air of respect and maybe some adulation, or jealousy, if that's what you want...
But Now It's Time to Run
[[TOWARDS THE PLACE WHERE YOU ARE GOING]]As you run and jump and run some more, and duck, and slide across a window and run straight up a vertical incline and swing from a bar that is sticking out of a wall for some reason, and do a flip just for show, because it had started to get too easy and you wanted to keep yourself in shape,
You see in the distance, that place where you are going, (dropdown: bind $direction, "looming ominously, in a scary way", "beckoning towards you pleasantly") on the horizon.
(live: 0.4s)[
(if: $direction is "looming ominously, in a scary way")[
[[You sprint towards, that place]]
](if: $direction is "beckoning towards you pleasantly")[
[[You sprint towards, that place|Good ending]]
]
]Noooo!! I simply will not have anything ominous in this thing, go back and change it!! There's a dropdown menu, what were you thinking?? If you want an ominous time you can go somewhere ELSE
sheesh!!!
this is wholesome family fun!!!
FUCK!!!!You sprint, faster and faster, with mind-blowing speed, your limbs flying and whistling and whirring and exploding with energy and power and practically flight, your legs practically leave the ground, though they never do, they are instead moving with great power and ease to situate your feet exactly where they should go, and your arms are moving too, and you're breathing and many other things, all simultaneously, in an impressive way...
[[Until you reach where you are going...]]At long last, you do a triple back flip through an open skylight and alight gently, with a crash, in that place where you were headed all along!!
That's right!!
[[It's....]]Just a coffee shop!! You are meeting someone for a date.
Surprise!! the game has switched genres and is no longer all about running and jumping on barriers and in and around things and that kind of kinetic energy and excitement, It's a dating simulator or something now!!
[[WOW!! What a surprise (thank you -me (the person making the game)]]Yes, you're in a coffee shop, a beautiful coffee shop. A SECRET coffee shop. Perhaps you don't like coffee. Perhaps you do!! You can imagine it is a tea shop or a donut place, listen, it's no big deal. I know some writers get all huffy if they find out someone has been imagining their writing is different from the way their writing is, but not me sister!!
[[And there, you see the person you've been waiting for, sitting at a table in whatever building you made such a spectacular entrance into, and they're super impressed, or they didn't notice, whichever you want. Either way, you're playing it cool, unless you want to act differently...]]Yes, your date. (remember it's a dating sim now)
You're looking at your date
[[The first thing you notice is,]]Your date is PRACTICALLY PERFECT IN EVERY WAY
Yes, you love their hair, or lack of it.
The gentle soft or hard shape of their jawline. Or perhaps they don't have a jaw!! Whatever you like
And their voice!! Their VOICE!!
[[You haven't heard it yet!]]"Hello," they say, with their golden, creamy, dark, high-pitched, or low-pitched voice that appeals to you in that special way you like
"Hello," and here they say your name, which was originally written to be ALISON PARKOUR, but you can pretend like it's anything you like, if you want, and they said it (your name) and it sounded good coming from their voice that you like!!
[[Continue playing dating sim]]
[[Hmm, I preferred the parkour game!! Maybe go back to that]]You play this dating sim long into the night. Each choice you make opens the story up into new and exciting adventure, and your relationship with this fictional person broadens and deepens in new and exciting ways at every turn.
You can't believe how well this dating sim is made!! It's like it knows everything you want, even before you tell it, AND it lets you tell it things you want, so you feel like you have some say in how it treats you.
AMAZING!!
Anyway, you stay up really late and the next morning you're kind of tired!!
Sheesh, why did I stay up so late playing some dating sim?? You think to yourself.
But then you remember the amazing relationship you developed with this fictional person and how it made you feel, and you feel a newfound hope for yourself, and life, and the existence of love in the universe. Maybe you believe in god now!! Or maybe now you DON'T believe in god, whichever way you want to go. Maybe your belief in the existence or non-existence or WHATEVER of "god" is unchanged, and that seems nice to you!!
Nice!!
[[Wow!!!]]No, ugh!@! I wrote this whole genre flip and romance plot for a reason, go enjoy it!! If you didn't want to play a game that suddenly switched genres without warning, MAYBE you shouldn't have played THIS game that gave you NO WARNING that this would happen!!! Okay!!! SHEESH
Just, like, appreciate it, you know?? Life is so much more than excitement. Sometimes it's just being happy that you're not dead yet, and also you have a friend with you, sometimes. And, maybe you're in love!! That happens. It's not a BIG deal, but it's pretty neat, right?? Anyway, if that's what you came for, I don't know, you do, like a flip. You land on the table in front of your date!! They scream!!!!! With happiness!!!Wow!!!
THE END